It was the best of times and it was the worst of time. Mostly the worst. For most. But, for better or for worse, I dont think any other year has held as steep a learning curve for me as this year
Of course, it has not been an easy year — as I write this, I realise that my four-and-half-year-old kid has spent ~20% of his life in quarantine. And that of course is the least of our worries. There were more than enough people who were not in a position to keep themselves or their loved ones safe and healthy. We can only count our blessings.
But then no great story comes without its ups and downs and this year had more than its fair share of both. Sharing some of my themes from this year with you.
The Highlights
- I’ve seen this with a lot of people — while we could not meet in person, lockdown did help us get closer to friends and family. Most weeks we would catch up for poker, quizzes or some other games — something I’ve not done regularly for years. What we thought would actually separate us for a long time actually ended up bringing us closer. It takes a tribe to make for a life worth living — and my 37th birthday filled with messages from loved ones was a great example.
- The learning curve for me was huge this year. The extra time I had during the lockdown allowed me to go back to class with a vengeance. I finished a certificate course from Harvard, a MOOC on Learning How to Learn, and learned touch typing as well as calligraphy. If you put your mind to it, there is so much you can do with your time.
- On a related note, we are really grateful for the learning experience that our son’s school have provided him this year. As our world changed overnight, the school (JBCN Parel) did a really fantastic job of changing how they teach almost overnight. Teaching is not an easy job at the best of times and this year was harder than most. A big salute to the teachers who have taken it int their stride and continue to put their best feet forward.
- As someone who has always found it challenging to work from home, I really dreaded an extended lockdown. Instead, created my study, the place at home that helped me find the best focus I have found in a long time. By the end of the lockdown, I was getting more work done at home than I had ever managed at the office. But it also meant a lot of tiring and long days!
- Maru weddings are huge — they are the definition of the Big Fat Indian Weddings. Heck, my wedding had 1500+ people in it. So when my cousin Harsh got married during the pandemic, we were not sure how it would go. What followed was a blast — only the closest family numbers, no wastage (food or otherwise), late-night shenanigans and a really long baarat. I spent the most amount of time with family than I had done at any other wedding. The pandemic may have changed a lot of things but not all of them are for the worse.
- It’s so great to see Manchester United back again. Not sure if the resurgence is here to stay but let’s enjoy it while it lasts. 3 points back with a game in hand at the end of the year? Most fans would have taken it 5 weeks into this season. Or last.
The Lows
- We lost our father in law at the end of the year. While the wound is fresh, as I wrote HERE we are really proud of the amazing legacy he leaves behind
- First Diwali away from home in more than a decade. Not ashamed to say that there were a few misty eyes involved in the family zoom meet
- Having been on an amazing fitness journey the last year — this was one area where I really struggled this year. As my wife and I struggled to juggle with our jobs, household chores and my son’s school, we found little time to work out or cook. The result has not been pretty:
- On a related note, as someone who loves his sports miss the mix of football, tennis and TT that kept me active till last year. Home walking and treadmill running are not sports I’ll ever learn to love
- Living quarantined with the same people for months on end (especially when one of those people is me) is not easy. Hats off to my wife who has been supportive and patient beyond imagining. I wish I had made it easier for her
- Really missed travelling this year. Started the year with plans of epic road trips and Iceland for summers. Ended it with grocery shopping looking like a risky adventure
Big Learnings From the Year
- A lot of finding focus is about creating the right habits and environment to remain focused. The most focused people are not the ones with the most willpower but the ones who actively avoid using willpower (or making decisions that need it). Example — if you want to eat healthy, start by removing all stock of junk food from your home and deleting your food delivery apps. That is worth more than the best dietician
- Clarity is a superpower. Not only for your larger goals but also how you live your life daily. Have worked really hard to set up a routine that helps me be clear about my goals and prioritise efficiently. The only thing arguably more effective is to give more clarity to your team too.
- For someone who reads a lot (more below), one of my biggest learning was that reading more is suboptimal when you dont retain and use what you read. With this in mind, shifted to the Zettelkasten way of note-taking. This is perhaps the single biggest change in my learning capability I have done in the last decade — for those interested, How To Take Smart Notes is a great place to start.
- Mindfulness > Meditation. Despite taking meditation classes for more than 3 years, realised that I had been doing it wrong. Meditation is a tool. Mindfulness is a way of being. A very powerful way of being. This year really showed me the value of being present in the moment. When all meetings run into a blur, it is important to be able to anchor yourself to the current moment.
- It’s important every once in a while to pause and reset. A lot of learning takes place in the gaps between the doing — this is the essence of Deliberate Practice. Lockdown gave the entire world an opportunity to reflect.
- I am learning to find a good balance between work life and family life. Perhaps, balance is the wrong word. Learned how to prioritise and when to compromise.
- Feedback is important. How it is given is even more so. Feedback delivered in a way that slights the receiver is worse than useless — if the idea is to help someone get better, why would you want to make them feel worse?
A Factfile
My three best books of the year (from the 76 I read this year)
- A Gentleman in Moscow — A fictional autobiography set in early century Moscow. It talks about how a life lived in constraints can still have so much beauty. Can a life without luxury be the richest of all?
- How to Take Smart Notes — The one book I learned from the most this year. As a compulsive reader, I always wondered how I could retain more from what I read. The Zettelkasten method (along with the Roam Research platform) has helped me completely overhaul how I read and take notes
- That Will Never Work — A ringside view to the early days of Netflix, this is a small book with big learnings and great anecdotes. If you think successful startups always have it easy, think again.
My three best web series of the year
- The Mandalorian — As a sci-fan I have, curiously, never liked anything in the Star Wars canon since the three original movies. Until The Mandalorian. But to call it a Star Wars extension would be to do it a disservice — it’s a more of a classic westerner based in space (quite like another old favourite — Firefly). You almost expected Clint Eastwood when he finally took off that helmet.
- The Last Dance — I am sure there’s more than one type of winning mentality, more than one way to win. But this is about the best narrative of a stone-cold winner that I have ever seen. You may not be able to emulate the drive or the mentality — but you will always be in awe. It takes more than skills and physical abilities to be a winner and MJ is a testament to that.
- Scam 1992 — One of the best Indian serials in a long time (as an IMDB rating of 9.4 will testify (same as Breaking Bad, better than Game of Thrones) it is a great example of the Indian business mentality. Yes, he broke the rules, got jailed and died in near penury. But, for a short time, he did make the common man dream about hustling and jugaading their way to the top. In a way, the story is also a great example of the love-hate relationship India has with its entrepreneurs (even more so before the turn of the century).
The Best Tools This Year
- iPad: for years, I have been an avid note-taker. Every year I used to go through more than 3–4 of my beloved Rhodia webnotebooks, resisting the pressure to go digital. But the draw of having all my notes at one place and the ability to search through my messiest handwriting to find the right note at the right time, finally made this the year I shifted to digital note-taking (still write all my notes though). For those who want to make this change, I suggest the new iPad Air — it has almost all the features of the Pro and is much cheaper.
- Zettelkasten: A innovative way of note-taking that helps me retain more of what I read and to try and put it into practice. Still early days but there is already an immense difference in what I retain. My goal for the next year is to read less but learn more.
- Good Notes: This is the app I use on the iPad to write my notes. Having experimented with more than half a dozen, I am quite this is the best note-taking app on the iPad (Notability is quite close too though — sucks at searching through handwritten notes but has an arguably better filing system)
- Roam: After years of keeping all my typewritten notes (such as minutes or notes from books/articles I read) on Evernote, finally shifted to Roam this year. While the bi-directional linkages take some getting used, the difference in retention is immense.
- Audible: Without sports, a lot of my time was spent on treadmills or walking outside. Audible was a faithful companion, helping me get through more than 20 books over the year.
So this is me signing off from 2020. Wishing all of you a 2021 full of family travel and learning.
